And how not to be swallowed up by Impostor Syndrome
Late last night the first module of our course was unlocked and the realisation of what I was now going to be doing for the next 2 years landed squarely in my lap. Eek!
Don’t get me wrong I am so excited about doing this MA but there is this little demon sitting on my shoulder whispering all sorts of confidence zapping stuff. It wasn’t helped by the sudden brain dead feeling I woke up with this morning.
A Commission of a beautiful Lostwithiel cottage
Thank goodness I had to go to Stable Arts to have a sketch mounted and then meet the customer down in Homefront, this took my mind off all the long words and strange phrases I read last night.
I left Dave in bed as he is working nights later on and pootled up to Stable Arts, the sun had been out earlier but now there was a drizzle, it was warm and refreshing so I didn’t mind the fact my rain coat was in the car. I drove up out of Lostwithiel via Tanhouse Lane and amongst the pinks and whites of the wild flowers there were beautiful Foxgloves bursting above the froth of the delicate flowers like firework rockets. The flowers seem different to last year, there’s more of them and there’s more variety too.
I drove past Lanhydrock, up to the island and then down past the crematorium towards Cardinham Woods and then down the hill to Fletchers Bridge. The road was closed just after the turning to the Chapel and I had the framers all to myself for a while. While I waited for the mount to be cut I had a coffee in Coby’s Cafe chatting to Jess about the MA.
I paid for my mount and bought an A3 sketch book then drove retracing my journey to Lostwithiel. The drizzle was now full on pelting rain and I was very grateful that the rain coat was in the car. Parking up in Monmouth Square I went to Homefront and met Tony the customer who was thrilled with my drawing. It always makes me happy to have a happy customer. I stayed in the cafe with Lesley and sipped on an Earl Grey tea whilst the rain bounced on the road outside. No point in moving just yet.
In a few weeks I shall be doing a small market at the Polperro Festival with Claire of Windswept Girlie. So I am building up a portfolio of Polperro buildings and scenes to have prints and cards made, and other stuff! When I got back from the cafe I decided to start on some more Polperro sketches. I managed to do 3 and start a 4th Harbour scene. Well impressed and pleased with myself.
All this was a way of undermining the nasty demon on my shoulder – proving to his negativity that I can illustrate, I do have the skills to do this MA and it will be different from everyone else as I shall be doing everything ‘analogue’ to begin with at least. Analogue = hand drawn using pens and paper – not on an i-pad etc.
Once I’d got my head around the Polperro drawings I turned to the MA week one tasks.
Week one tasks
- Week 1: Introduction to Module 1 – Process and Practice
- Week 1: Discussion – Defining Art
- Week 1: Lecture – Introduction to Research Methodology
- Week 1: Challenge Activity
- Week 1: Reflective Research Journal
- Week 1: Webinar – The Theoretical Forest
There seems a lot when you first see the list and this is WEEK ONE! However I’ve already entered into the Discussion, listened to the Introduction, prepared for the Webinair and watched half of the Lecture. I’ve even started thinking about the Challenge Activity.
This is why I write this blog, it’s not for you guys reading it (well it is REALLY) but it’s for me to see what I’ve achieved in just one day, to pat myself on the back and not be intimidated by my fellow students. Which I have been by some, they are very creative and have amazing creative experiences and careers…. there is that Impostor Syndrome demon again!
We are all different, we all come from such varied backgrounds and cultures. There are students from Australia, Spain, Asia and San Francisco…. plus Essex and Cumbria, and many more places yet to be revealed. I just popped away from the blog to look at the discussion board to check the places I listed and I’m feeling a real sense of common ground seeping through the comments… so my nerves are abating a little – be off with you little nasty demon!
On Thursday we have a Webinar and I need to buy some headphones with a microphone – techie equipment leaves me cold… and the choice on line is way above the three I wanted to choose from… ha ha. And suggestions from my lovely blog readers?
Now I’m off to watch Gentleman Jack from last night as Dave wanted to watch Guy Martin on Ch4 last night.